Dynamite Tots

My friend, Duane, told me about the movie Napoleon Dynamite. He said he watched it with his nephews and they all loved it. They even quoted the movie from time to time. He told me that I had to watch it to appreciate the phrases they were saying. Although I had seen the movie at Blockbuster for weeks, I never felt interested in watching it. I even went as far as renting it for my kids, but two days later it went back to the store unwatched by any of us. When Duane said again I needed to watch it, I trusted him and went out and rented it. The kids even joined me in the viewing.

I must say I was pleasantly surprised. I laughed alot. It made such an impression that the kids and I started quoting the movie, too. My son now wears a shirt that says "Give me some of your tots!" We laugh about it over and over. Thanks Duane.

Anyways, I was online reading from one of the various blogs I go to and came across this Napoleon Dynamite test. After answering a few questions, it tells you what character from the movie you are most like. Here's my results and a link to the test:



You are Kip Dynamite and you love technology.


Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?


Stay sweet 'n smile.....................Mz.

QOTD 1

?Question of the Day?

You are a piece of candy in the imaginary land of the Smurfs. You have a mission to rescue the Smurf village from the evil Gargamel. What piece of candy would you choose to be in order to complete your mission as effectively as possible?

Gum. It is amazing the uses you can create with gum, especially in tight situations. Brainy Smurf or Papa Smurf would think of something, I'm sure.

Stay sweet 'n smile.....................Mz.

Tag! You're It!

I got "tagged" today. So, here you go....

10 years ago:

I was caring for a 3 year old and a 1 year old on my own.
I was separated from my husband who was in Korea.
I started going to a community college in pusuit of a R.N. degree.
I was a volunteer for Head Start and the local homeless shelter.
I still had both of my grandparents living!
I met my best friend this year.

5 years ago:

I was now living in Minnesota.
I was raising a 8 year old and a 6 year old still on my own.
I was attending a local university pursuing my undergraduate degrees in community health and Indian studies.
I considered pursuing my masters degree.
I juggled 3 jobs.
Both of my grandparents, 1 aunt, and 1 uncle were dead.
I was divorced and happy about it.

1 year ago:

I was raising a 12 year old and a 10 year old still by myself.
I was in graduate school working on my masters.
I was working for Early Head Start, but preparing to quit.
I was learning about health issues in my family.
I finally started seriously dating.
I was learning to appreciate what a thirtysomething is.

Yesterday:

I snuggled with my 13 year old and 11 year old on the couch while watching TV.
I bought several new fish that never saw morning.
I took the kids to Great Wall Chinese Buffet for dinner. Yum!
I began decorating my hallway.
I watched Martha on TV alone and then later watched Inuyasha with the 11 year old.
I talked to my friend John and we discussed the future and people we would like in it.
Chatted online with Shannon after adding to my blog.

5 songs I know all the words to:

I Need Love by LL Cool J
Me and Little Andy by Dolly Parton
My Immortal by Evanescence
How You Remind Me by Nickelback
Ultimate You by Lindsay Lohan

5 things I'd do with a million dollars

Pay off all debt
Follow my manifest list
Start my foundation
Take a vacation
Donate

5 places I'd run away to:

Walt Disney World
New Zealand
Hawaii
Italy
Chicago (The Oprah Show)

5 things I'd never wear:

"Too high" high heels
Wool bell-bottoms
Anything too tight
Anything too see-through
Football regalia from any other team than my adored Cleveland Browns

5 favorite toys:

My electronic gadgets
My games (board and video)
My books
My treadmill
My fish

5 favorite books or TV shows:

Oprah
Martha
Dog the Bounty Hunter
A Concise Dictionary of Minnesota Ojibwe by John Nichols and Earl Nyholm
Love You Forever by Robert N. Munsch and Sheila McGraw

5 Greatest joys...

Family
Friends
Faith
Love
and Roller Coasters

5 people I tag for this:

Since all people are created equal.....if you see this, consider yourself tagged!

Stay sweet 'n smile.....................Mz.

Self Test

******* My Analysis Starts Here *******
MzAriez is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. MzAriez basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.

MzAriez is constantly disappointed when trying to reach success. She works very hard, perhaps harder than most, then just before succeeding, something happens that keeps her from success. Often, MzAriez changes to a second project just before the first one is finished, thus failing to complete the first project. Sometimes she changes because she feels she needs a different challenge. MzAriez feels dejected. This feeling relates to her failures. This trait is very important in a working situation and in a relationship. She must be handled in a very special way to get the most work from her or to make a relationship last. Concerning this trait, personality modification is available to change her life.

In reference to MzAriez's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When MzAriez slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project. She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. MzAriez can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

MzAriez is secretive. She has secrets which she does not wish to share with others. She intentionally conceals things about herself. She has a private side that she intends to keep that way, especially concerning certain events in her past.

MzAriez uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone. The circumstances when MzAriez does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise. MzAriez will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally. MzAriez is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, MzAriez doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

According to the inputted data, MzAriez has a stinger shape inside the oval of her a, d, or c. This might be hard to visualize, but if this little hooklike shape is present, then MzAriez has an unresolved "issue" with strong members of the opposite gender. An occasional appearance of this stroke could indicate a simple "loves a mental challenge" which can manifest in playful linguistic conversations and being attracted to a lover who isn't always available. However, if the stroke is severe, this means the individual has unresolved anger at the oppostive gender - which usually started with the person's childhood relationship with the opposite gender parent (Dad). She will be attracted to strong challenging men. In a nutshell, people with stingers in their writing tend to have challenges in their romantic relationships. Remember, it is only negative if the traits occurs often and is quite pronounced. An occasional stinger can be no problem.

MzAriez has a desire for attention. People around MzAriez will notice this need. She may fulfill this need by a variety of ways depending on her own character.

Ok. Ok. I must add that some of this stuff is actually accurate. Go figure.

Stay sweet 'n smile.....................Mz.

Lavender Lilacs

Once grew lavender lilacs
By a stream where my summers flew
On wings of a dragonfly.

Once we walked 'neath the tall oak trees
Caressed by a summer breeze
So warm in a cloudless sky

Lavender lilacs withered and died
Now all that I lack
Is my dream walking by my side

Now cold winds spread the silver drifts
Of snow over barren branches
Under a cold, gray sky

New buds of lilacs wait for the spring
Hope in my heart can endure
All the pain that winter brings

Some bright lavender springtime
We'll walk in a new day
In my lavender lilac dreams

I don't remember when I started admiring lilacs. Although I have always been a color blue person, I really like the light purple color of the lilacs. I think it began when I was really young. I remember walking to school for kindergarten. During the long hike to school, I would pass by an old gray house that had two lilac bushes in the front. I remember the frangrant smell that filled my nose as I marched past. Sometimes, when my mother would let me roam the neighborhood alone, I would walk back to that house with the two bushes and pick a few bunches. I never brought the flowers inside because there were always a bug or two crawling on them. What I would do was lay them on the outside of my windowsill. At night when I would open the window for cool air, their calming aroma would fill my room. I still remember the handful of times lilacs rocked me to an aromatic sleep. What bliss!

I never knew until tonight that there was a Lilac Festival. In 1888, George Ellwanger and Patrick Barry, owners of the world's largest nursery, bestowed 20 initial acres that would become the 155 acre Highland Park to the community of Rochester, New York. It's beauty with trees and shrubs became the first municipal arboretum in the United States. The park started with 20 varieties lilacs in 1892 which has grown to more than 500 varieties of lilacs and more than 1,200 lilac bushes on 22 acres at Highland Park. The city of Rochester has held a Lilac Festival every May since 1898 when the first festival attracted 3,000 visitors. Since then, more than 500,000 people visit Rochester for that purpose.

Although this year's festival has come and gone, there is always next year. Maybe after graduation in May, I could mosey over to Ohio for a visit. Just maybe, I could persuade my BFOE into a 3 hour roadtrip to smell the flowers. What do you say Kel?

If you are interested here are the Lilac Festival dates through 2010:

May 12-21, 2006
May 11-20, 2007
May 9-18, 2008
May 8-17, 2009
May 14-23, 2010

BTW, a little shout out for Ryan....for giving me lilacs without knowing their meaning to me. Mucho gracias!


Stay sweet 'n smile.....................Mz.

Helping Hand

When I was 4 years old, I use to spend most of my days with my grandmother. My mom worked alot, but that was okay because I was grandma's favorite. She worked for Community Action back then as a cook. She would go to a local church and cook meals for the elderly. I always liked going with her.

After our morning trip to her friend's bar for breakfast, we headed to the church. Grandma and another woman would fix the meals as me and Mrs. Denoble would set up the table and chairs. She taught me how to set a table and welcome our guests graciously. Sometimes, I would bring my organ and play music while they ate lunch. Sadly, those poor people heard Silent Night over and over since it was the only song I had memorized. Give me a break now, I was only 4.

I just remember how nice my grandma was to each person who came. I knew how lucky they were to have such a great cook like my grandma make their lunch. I was that lucky too.

A few years later when she no longer worked there, I remember going with her to the Salvation Army for lunch. I didm't realize until we got there that we would be helping fix the meal. Although she was on a limited income, she still tried to help others in need. I always remember that about her.

I always have had that belief that I was obligated to help others since my grandma engraved it into me. When I graduated from high school, I began volunteering at a homeless shelter. I did that off and on for seven years. I was a Head Start Parent Volunteer for three years while my children were little. I also did alot of work at my community college trying to improve student life. When I graduated, I was honored with the Distinguished Student Service Award for my commitment above and beyond my duty. When I moved on to my four-year college, I continued to be active on campus serving on various committees and councils. Of my many activities, I was grateful to serve as a mentor to other students encouraging them to stay in school. In my first internship for my Masters, I worked in Child Protection at a county agency. I learned first-hand how frail many families and children are in the area of mental health. Now in my second internship, I continue to work in the clinical area of children's mental health. I pray that I can have a positive affect upon those I come in contact with. Although I know I can not save the world, but just maybe I can improve a little of it.

I brought you all through that to tell you about a friend of mine. Let's call him Ed. Ed is a nice guy. We had a talk the other day about helping others. I know he will help a friend out, but I was asking him about beyond that realm. I wanted to know if he did anything for people he did not know. He said he donated a dollar to St. Jude's when he bought a paper balloon at a local store. He stated he had never been to St. Jude's or knew anybody that went there. I said it was a start. I asked him about recent events and if he offered any support. He said no, not yet. I asked him when and he said someday. Then, he proceeded to quiz me about my offerings. I admitted my guilt. When my birthday came near this year and I knew I could, I adopted three soldiers in Iraq. I learned about it on cnn.com regarding the anysoldier.com campaign. I told him for the Katrina victims I donated money at Kmart because I knew that they were matching donations up to a certain amount to the Red Cross. Plus, any friend or neighbor who needs a hot meal only need but knock on my door. My last dollar is your's if you really need it. I know I am blessed and I know my obligation to others. Ed got real quiet at that point. Finally he spoke up and asked me what I wanted him to do. Feel I said. I want you to feel what is happening around you and to the people in the world. Being part of the human race is a two way street and it comes with an obligation although many do not heed it. I reminded him about my white bracelet from One.org that rallies Americans to fight global AIDS and extreme poverty. Ed was quiet again. I told him if he could do something to improve the world than he should do it. I did he said. I neutered my dog last year after I realized he could jump the fence in the backyard. I looked at Ed who was now smiling pretty big at his major contribution. Thank you Ed I said. Bob Barker would be so proud. That's one small step for man....and one giant leap for Ed.

BTW, help is still needed with the recovery for our southern states. Please help the Red Cross provide services and necessities for those in need by donating.







Stay sweet 'n smile.....................Mz.

For the Phat Rabbit

Sesame Street Terror

Current Terror Alert Level

Sick & Blue

It's all because of you....

I'm feeling sad and blue....

You went away and now my life is filled with rainy days....

And I love you so....

How much you'll never know....

Cuz you took your love away from me....

=(

Ok, I admit. I am looking a little blue there. No sadness here though. Not one tear. Nobody left. I am still blue though. For the past three days, I have been dealing with the flu. I do feel bad and I hope I can recover before the weekend is over. I didn't realize that flu season had begun. My good friend and her family were dealing with it, but at that point I had heard of no other influenza outbreaks. For some reason, after the fact of my viral inheritance, I learned it was popping up all over like a case of chicken pox. To me, it just seems too early in the season to get sick, but as I am learning it isn't. The bad news is that influenza comes in different strains. I may have version X, but that doesn't prevent versions W, Y or Z from invading my personal space later. What a downer....

I have never had a flu shot. I am actually scared too. I remember when I was young when my grandmother once got her's. After the shot, she ended up getting really sick and spent time in the hospital. The hard part for me was not being allowed to see her since you had to be 12 to visit. That hospital policy caused me much stress whenever a family member was there. I was usually left alone in the lobby waiting for 1 - 2 hours for my mother's return. It wasn't a big deal since I was an only child and use to entertaining myself. The hard part was not seeing my sick loved one myself. I do remember twice being snuck up when my grandmother really wanted to see me and when my poppa was in the hospital for awhile with electrical burns. Other than that, I was left to wait so being at the hospital was never a good thing. I'd rather we all stay healthy and in eyesight. So to this day, I still think about ending up in the hospital when they announce the flu shot clinics. And every year, I bypass the shot and deal with the 3 or 5 days I spend getting sick at home with my family.

So, maybe tomorrow, I will not be feeling blue and will be back in the game full-force. La-di-da-di! Version X, you are outta there....deleted....trashed...and emptied.

BTW, if you didn't know, the opening words are lyrics from a song from Doug E. Fresh from back in the day. If you'd like to hear the song, I have included a link to Undergroundhiphop.com to listen to it.

The Link

Stay sweet 'n smile.....................Mz.

My Crush

There is this man I met some time ago. This juncture maybe lasted a mere twenty minutes. Although it was work related, my interest was aroused. Since that time, his presence has only appeared twice before me. And, it is possible that he may never appear again. I understand this, but I hope otherwise.

Last night, this man entered my dreams. It is amazing how my mind's memory banks can recall the very details of him from a twenty minute moment, but it did very accurately. It was nice to see his face again and his deep thoughtful eyes. The dream was happy and brought a smile to my face when I awoke from it. For now, with my life so busy, he will remain in my dreams. And if the era of peace enters my life in the near future....I know where to find him.

Stay sweet 'n smile.....................Mz.

To Them in the Dark

I ran across this letter online. It felt like I was reading my own words. I swore I had a similiar conversation with my mother regarding this just a week ago. Because it sings so true to me, I decided to share. Do you really want to read an eye-opening letter?

Ok, here you go. Just click on the letter and your journey will begin.

The Letter

Stay sweet 'n smile.....................Mz.

You Don't Know Me

Tears are running down my cheek as my inner pain flows throughout my body. Some simple sentence on the internet managed to open the door to my inner core. These connected words became the magic key to direct access to the inner me that nobody sees. As I sit here alone in this room, memories and pain flood my mind. I reflect upon my feelings and can see in my mind a map to the destruction of me. It is so clear. It tells exactly where I have been and where I am going. Unlike a treasure map, there is no glorious reward marked with an X at the end. My X is the end, the end of me.

Somehow, I have to move off this path, but there are no directions. Can somehow fate be pursuaded to change and luck be created not just by chance? Can I trade in my map for a new one? Will I ever let someone into the circle of my inner core? Does that level of trust even exist?

Maybe......I tend to be a rather optimistic person and have an overflowing supply of hope.

For now, I continue to love the ones around me and hope their limited experience of me is ok. I still continue to protect the inner core, but I have taken steps to move past the conservatism. Although the idealogy of my twentysomething self has flown the coop, I am beginning to understand the wonderfulness of my thirties. As my comfort level increases, I have begun to write and tell stories of my life. I have begun the process of sharing what makes me who I am. Those very stories, thoughts and emotions fill me and are part of the process of me becoming me today and sharing them can shape the me of tomorrow. I know this will need to be a new tradition that will last a lifetime.

Then finally, maybe fate will roll the dice in my direction one day and I will get my wish. That is when I finally get to that finite X and all is said and done, one person will look back and say....

I knew her. I really knew her.

Stay sweet 'n smile.....................Mz.

I Like...

Iraq Sticker Shock

I Tried

It has come time for a dramatic climax.

Black maybe for Stability, but today, I found out Purple is for Drama Queen.

You have no clue as to what I am talking about...right? Unless you are one of the exclusive few or an avid reader of my blog, you're definitely not in my know.

Here we go...... I like those cheap rubber bracelets with the words stamped on them. They are only 99 cents at the gas station and if I break or lose one, I do not feel bad. I also like to give them to friends as the occasion arises. I even bought a 10 pack from One.org this summer. Well, not to be superstitious or anything as such, I tend to wear the Black for Stability and the Pink for Hope when I need a power day. I have no insight into why these day with these bracelets are power days. They just always are. But anyways, today was the day I learned about Purple.

I tried to tell them. I really did. I know they were listening. Maybe they didn't want to believe. But, I knew. I knew all along it would be this way even though I wished the opposite. Que sera sera.

You deserve it they said. It will work out, you'll see. It will be fabulous and wonderful and you'll be so happy. You'll have time and it will be special.

Sure I said. Ain't gonna happen. Not to me....not at this time....no way!

I tried. I told them over and over, but my inner circle didn't get it like I got it. I knew from the get go that it was limited and fleeting. Not even the other party understood my premonition of the limitedness before us.

Today.... is today and fleeting has now officially taken flight. Dreams have become memories that will never be...as paths move in other distinct directions. Once again, I say que sera sera as I turn and glance back one last time. The ending credits are definitely rolling and my last words would be....

I tried to tell you. He was one of them.

Maybe I should try the White "One" bracelet for now. Maybe white is the new black.....the permanent black. LOL!

Stay sweet 'n smile.....................Mz.

Mini-Go-Go

I need to give my new baby a name. Any suggestions?

Stay sweet 'n smile.....................Mz.

Gone

I wrote this amazing story last night and in an instant it disappeared from my computer screen. I was rather upset after spending a good solid hour creating and researching my story. I really liked it. It was personal and I even included pictures. Then in a blink....bye!

Too many things in life nowadays are gone in an instant. Maybe is was your necklace from when you were 5 or the paper you received your first A+. It could be your new sports car or your favorite cousin. Maybe it is your favorite television series or your engagement ring. It could possibly be your parents, your glasses, your keys or even your child. Gone.....just like that.

I like that song by 3 Doors Down called "When I'm Gone", especially this part....

Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone

Too often we realize how we feel about something after the fact and miss the boat entirely. Why is it that we can not see until the dust is stirred up and then settled to realize what we are missing? Are we so connected with each other through all of our electronic devices that we are numb to having actual feelings? Are we becoming desensitized to loss that unless it becomes a major tragedy affecting someone within our own perimeters we do not accept it as part of our own reality? Maybe the things we cherish in our society have become too replaceable on an emotional level?

All I know is that I do not want to be loved when I am gone. I want to be loved now. I want to cherish and connect with the people and things around me in the present. I want the sensitivity to connect with fellow people on a human level. Maybe it is the girl scout in me wanting to help make the world a better place, but to also appreciate the process.

So, in the mean time....you can love me while I'm here and if in an instant I am gone, it is ok. You'll always know, you gave me exactly what I asked for.

Stay sweet 'n smile.....................Mz.