April's Fool

When I was 19, I lived with my high school best friend, Lys, on my days off from my job. As ghetto as the neighborhood was, I enjoyed making new friends. Although my second love and I were on the outs, I was still a little gun-shy about dating someone new. On the other hand, Lys was ready to help me forget and enjoy being young and single. Maybe as some form of encouragement, I was introduced to her boyfriend's brother. After realizing how wrong we were, it was easy to move on. Summer was coming and it was time to just enjoy my days off hanging out with Lys and my new friends.

I don't remember our first conversation or even our first introduction. I just remember sitting on Lys's couch and talking with him. I knew quickly that he was different from the other guys.

He had a wonderful voice that stood out. It was rich and smooth sounding like expensive hot chocolate. I felt like I could listen to him forever. We talked about many things and had such a great connection. But, fall came and we both headed off to different colleges and the relationship ended.

Five years later, fate intervened and we crossed paths again. It was instant emotions and we reunited. It was so good being with him again, except for the fear. I just keep feeling like it would not last. Every time I saw him, I felt like it would be the last time ever seeing him again. I told myself that it was my father/daughter abandonment issues and hoped for the best. And although love was there, our lives were heading in two different directions. Eventually, it ended with inspiring words from him to follow my path even though he wasn't in it. I was heartbroken. In the last conversation, we agreed to look for each other every four years.

As the years went by, I never found him. I looked, but it was as if he disappeared off the face of the earth. I felt reality was saying it was over for good and it was never meant to be. That upset me, but not more than the possibility that he could be dead. I kept telling myself that he was fine and happy with someone else. I could handle that reality easier, but I still had a part of my heart still yearning for him.

Well, fate is interesting and amazing at the same time. Or maybe it is destiny that should get the credit. (Flash scenes from "The Notebook" and cue romantic music) But recently, it crossed two paths again.

Now, Facebook is place to make social connections. I just never thought it would be the key to finding him again. After 14 years, there he was on my monitor. That soon led to a conversation and a rush of emotions, all from our paths crossing online.

We are rekindling now. It has been almost a two decades since we met, but the butterflies are just the same. I feel so happy and trying my best to live in the moment with no fears. He really is the only person who understood me at such a deep level, even on areas on my life that I don't discuss. Maybe third time is the charm or maybe we are old enough to handle it. I don't know where this will all lead although I know where I want it to lead. Fate can be fickle and life's complications can be barriers. But, I know that I have skills know that I never had then to help overcome the roadblocks. And I know, I'd like him to be right next to me facing each one. We will see.

But for now, I'll be the fool.....the fool in love.

Stay sweet 'n smile............................Mz.