ICUP

Do you remember that joke from long ago where you would ask someone to spell I-Cup? They would say I-C-U-P and then everyone would laugh. Remember? Well, ICUP had a different meaning to me altogether and had nothing to do with peeing.

His name was I. C. He was a year older than me. He was cute, quiet and had a smile that could light up a room. He was a member of the cool clique in his grade and the best friend of "Pour some sugar on me".

My best friend from high school and I use to call that clique the Winning Crew or W.C. for short. Several of the guys had ego problems so by calling them W.C., we were being very sarcastic. A few of the guys thought it was a compliment and called themselves that which made us laugh secretly. I remember W.C. finding it's place on many desks that year.

Another thing that popped up that year was "I love ICUP". It was a code name to declare my love secretly. He was dating a blond and then a redhead so I tried to keep my desire quiet. Boy, was that hard! He sat right next to me in spanish. I was so focused on him that I never realized the guy on the other side of me had a big crush. Poor J., I heard him say it, but I just never believed it, especially with I. C. sitting next to me. Eventually, I. C. and I had our moments, but then he left for Atlanta and said he probably would stay there. I was devastated.

Although he did come back, it was never the same. But for some reason, he pops into my life when I need a little encouragement.

One night back then, my mom was flipping out on me. It was drug issues and I tried to avoid her. That day, I went home with my best friend from high school, Meliss. My mother was acting highly agitated and started to accuse me and my best friend of stealing her boyfriend's cocaine. I was outraged. I was never into drugs or even getting high. It just wasn't my thing after growing up around users and abusers.

We all got into the car so she could take us to pick up my friend, Sissy, and drop us off at the roller skating rink. When we drove past Sissy's house, I reminded my mom where she lived. This made her sour mood worse. She began hitting me as she was driving as Meliss was freaking out in the backseat. I ended up jumping out of the moving car to avoid being hit. My mom never hit the brakes or came back to see if I was ok. So, I got up and walked to my Godmother's house.

Ever see a really angry black woman? Well, that is the face my Godmother had after hearing my story. She wanted to jump my mom, but she was a Christian woman and said she would pray for her.

It was after that moment that Josh pulled me outside. Josh....the boy I was crushing after......the eventual second love of my life. He told me that he remembers the time when his mom was acting crazy from doing drugs. He was sweet and supportive. Soon, Meliss and Sissy showed up. They still wanted to go to the skating rink. Next, M.C. showed up to join our group with Josh. Now, M.C. has always been a good friend of mine. He was Josh's best friend and I. C.'s brother. Well, we went to the skating rink and I tried to have fun, but I was feeling stressed. Josh's flirting helped until we got back to my Godmother's house. My mother had sent word out that I better be home by midnight or she was calling the police. I was dumbfounded by the request since I had been living at my Godmother's house. I didn't want to go home. I was scared, so scared. I only wanted one thing. I wanted to talk to I.C. and see his smiling face.

I never knew he could look so serious. He was so supportive and calming. He helped me clear my head and think straight. I remember hugging him goodbye.

I walked to Meliss's house and picked up her and Sissy. Lucky for me, my mom had to work the midnight shift. We began the journey to my house and cut through Burger King's parking lot. There in a car at the drive-thru were two of our guy friends. We invited them over. That night, I went to sleep and my best friend got pregnant. I still don't know what Sissy did for sure, but I know I dreamed of I.C. and his big smile.

That isn't the only time he has helped me or encouraged me. We talked after his brother D. died. I was facing the divorce and was overwhelmed. There he was....sweet and supportive as ever. I guess the only sad part of it is that he comes into my life and then quickly disappears again. I don't like that at all. I just wish we could stay in touch.

Tonight, I may have gotten my wish. I got an email from him. Too bad he sent it months ago. Maybe I should check the site more often. lol! Here's what it said:

how are you? always thinking about you!

Wow! It feels great to be remembered. What's funny is that I just wrote on my cousin's husband's myspace quiz that....

7. Tell me one odd/intresting fact about you: I've been easily forgotten by many people.

Guess I was wrong. My bad.

Anyways, in the end, I guess ICUP is still pretty special to me after all this time. And by the way, I still have his hat. My son wears it.

Stay sweet 'n smile............................Mz.