Rez Humor

Found these jokes this morning. I needed the laugh and sure got one with this. Enjoy!

You have to love Indian Women....

For their ability to play rez ball, take care of 20 kids, and manage to make sandwiches at the same time when at a basketball tournament.

For their ability to make a rez car look good.

For their ability to keep sweat pants fashionable no matter what the occasion.

For their ability to make that all-tourney T-shirt and shorts into the one and only Indian "swimsuit."

For their ability to stay out all Friday night at the Indian casino and still hit the Saturday yard sales.

For their ability to give one "look" at their man to shut him up.

For their ability to somehow get her husband to ask for some of his money out of his own paycheck.


You know your ex is rezzed out if.....

1. You broke up with him five years ago and he still tries to fight guys who you are just talking to.

2. He broke the windows on your car because he thought that your cousin who was cruising around with you was your new man.

3. When you left him he had a bon fire with all of your clothes.

4. He tries to pay you back by snagging on all of your cousins, sisters, and your best friend.

5. He blames his drinking binge on your break up.

6. He comes to your house drunker than hell trying to get back together.

7. He tries to cause trouble by telling your new man that you and him were together and that you still love each other.

8. He tries to cause trouble by telling your new man that you're really pregnant with his baby.

9. Even a restraining order can't keep him away.

10. He makes his mom and grandma come talk to you about dropping charges.

11. He comes to reminisce about the good ol' days at 4 am when his "wife" is 7 mos. pregnant!

12. He drives by your house every morning to honk and wave at you and the kids, he "never" visits.

13. He asks the kids if you are seeing anyone right now.

14. He has his mom/dad/sisters tell you how unhappy he is because his wife can't do the things that you can, such as COOK

Does this sound like anyone that you've snagged out or who has snagged you?


Loving Indian Style - How to tell if it's luv "NDN style"

1. He adds you to his welfare cheque

2. He'll buy pampers for your baby, even if the baby ain't his

3. He lets you give him hickies even when you've been together for awhile

4. He hawks his rifle to bail you out of the drunk tank

5. He don't try to check out any of your friends or cuzin's

6. He'll hang onto you while walkin' round the powwow or feast

7. He spends his firefighting check on you

8. He tries to find a job, even when it's not fire season so he can buy you stuff

9. He tells you that you have chokecherry eyes & bannock thighs!

10. He tells you that he luvs you, even when he's sober!


Liver and Cheese

There was these three guys fighting over this beautiful woman.
They were all fighting right, and so the woman said "whoever can make the best sentence out of liver and cheese that's the one I will marry!".
So the first guy said " I like liver but I hate cheese".
Then the second guy said " I hate liver but I like cheese".
Then those two started fighting.
Then the Cree said "Hey liver alone cheese mine!".


I hope you like them. Just wish I knew who wrote them. Somebody is really funny!

Stay sweet 'n smile.....................Mz.