Treading Water

Do you ever think you really know someone? Then one day, they drop the bomb on you and tell you something about themselves that you had no clue about. My friend, Landy, did that to me the other day.

We've been friends for a few years. We met in town while I was working on my undergraduate degree. Landy (his alias) worked at a local restaurant delivering pizza and every once in a awhile he'd be our delivery guy. Landy and I started talking on the phone every so often. In the beginning, it was mostly about current events and the happenings in our small town. Eventually, we discussed dreams and things we wanted to experience in the future. I talked of my new career and he went on and on about finally saving up enough money for cooking school. We even joked that I would be the only social worker with a personal chef. I liked talking with him especially when we talked about life. As time passed, I felt I was starting to really get to know him.

One night three months ago, we were talking about the future. I talked about finally finishing graduate school and moving away in the next year. I asked him what he planned to do. Once again, he talked cooking school. He had received the application and talked with the school's admissions officer. Landy sounded so excited. I was really excited for him.

Forward to last week. It went something like this:

Me: Hey. What's up?
Landy: I need to talk to you.
M: What's going on?
L: I got in.
M: In what?
L: Cooking school.
M: Wow! That's great! Congrats. When did you find out?
L: Three days ago. There's more.
M: What is it?
L: I declined.
M: What??? Why would you do that?
L: I love to cook, but I like my job. I make some nice money. I like where I am so I decided not to go. I don't want to leave.
M: Are you crazy? Is it the money?
L: No. That was covered. I like living in my mom's basement. Plus, I can help her out and still live next to my best friend. Plus, then there's all the free pizza.
M: You did this for free pizza?
L: No. I just am happy with how things are.
M: What's her name?
L: Who?
M: The girl who's whipped you?
L: It's not what you think.
M: What is it then?
L: It's Matt.
M: Your best friend Matt? What does he have to do with you not going to school?
L: I love Matt.
M: We all love Matt. What's your point?
L: I think I am gay.
M: What?
L: I'm gay.
M: How? Since when?
L: Two days ago.
M: WTF, I need more than that.
L: Matt and I were drinking and eating pizza. I told him about school. He was actually upset that I would be leaving. He told me he loved me and we hugged and somehow it became more.
M: More?
L: You know.
M: No, I don't know.
L: We kissed and we did the "Amanda thing".

Let me clarify.... Amanda, his girlfriend from 5 years ago. She was trying to remain "good" for the man she was going to marry. She was willing to strip down to her panties for Landy. She was willing and open to everything sexual except removing or moving the panties. Hence, this tactic has since been referred as the "Amanda thing".

M: Okay. So, you are attracted to men now?
L: Just Matt.
M: What does this mean?
L: I am staying here and life will be the same. Matt will just be a bester buddy than before.
M: And what about the girls you date?
L: I still date. I didn't say I didn't want to date the ladies.
M: I thought that was a given when you said you were gay?
L: I am just gay with Matt.
M: Ohhh. Okay. I understand.
L: I knew you would.
M: I understand that you are crazy. I hope you really know what you are doing. The chance for school doesn't come everyday. Living in Mom's basement may be good today, but what about in six months when she moves to Florida? What are you going to do? Do you want to deliver food forever? Don't you want your own place? Your own life?
L: OMG, I forgot about Florida. At least I still have my job. Don't worry. It will work out. Fate loves me.
M: I hope it does.
L: BTW, don't tell my mom any of this. She'd kill me, then kick me out.
M: You and your chaos.
L: BTW, did you hear? Amanda had a baby.
M: Really?
L: It might be Matt's. He and this other guy have to do DNA test next week.
M: This is too much. Bye Landy.
L: Outie like my broke down Audi...bye.

Whew!
I was not expecting that conversation. I think I learned more about Landy in that conversation than any other before. I took a moment to think about it.

I wonder if he is scared about all the changes. I wonder if he clings to today to try to avoid tomorrow. Maybe it all was just too much for him. In the mean time, he is treading water, as my grandmother called it. He is swimming, but in no particular direction and not moving from his current spot. Too bad he is doing it in a moving river with timelines.

I guess that's one thing I liked about Landy. Usually his surprises are pizza toppings, not all this. Maybe, Landy really has sides to him I never imagined.

Stay sweet 'n smile.....................Mz.